To his credit, “Wilbur” was very gracious and said he hadn’t even realized that it was inappropriate. I brought it to the attention of some other women in the office and we all agreed it was creepy and I talked to our boss about it. He had a video game on his computer that would make ONJ moaning sounds when he shot something and when he did something else (I forgot what), it would play the chorus to Have To Believe We Are Magic. He had this thing for ONJ and had pictures of her in his office and on his desk (nothing naked or anything). One of the supervisors was completely creepy–he literally lived in his mom’s basement (always had), was in his 50s, and just nasty (look up Wilbur from the Mary Worth strip for more: ). As are many Barenaked Ladies songs.Įven creepier image for you: at my first post-law school job, I worked in a prosecuting attorney’s office. The song Broken Wings by Mister Mister is also very creepy. Here it is, for those of you who have never had the pleasure. Who the fuck needs to get messages from a talking dog when you have something like this in popular culture? How is it that we have crazy people all the time killing folks because of movies like Batman, or because they imagine that famous people, like Jodie Foster, are communicating with them trough hidden messages, but no one, to my knowledge, has ever done anything even remotely terrible as a result of this song, which is clearly urging listeners to act on ominous, unspecified plans, promising that, if they do, they’ll be looked after by magic forces? And they freaked me the fuck out… Admittedly, I was tired and hungry, and I was probably more susceptible to being freaked out than usual, but have you ever listened to the song? It’s like she’s talking right to you, telling you to do all of this stuff. The song came on the radio, and, for some reason, instead of just mindlessly singing along, like I’ve been doing since the song came out, when I was a kid, I actually listened to the words… I mean, I really listened to them. I started thinking about it a few days ago, as I was driving around by myself, just as the sun was coming up. After a great deal of research and soul-searching, I hereby formally declare it to be the most unsettling song ever performed in the English language. Today, I’d like to make an equally provocative, yet equally warranted, announcement concerning Olivia Newton John’s song Magic, from the Xanadu soundtrack. It was a courageous stand, and I took a lot of heat for it, but it was the right thing to do… And, I’m about to do it again. A year ago last week, I went out on a limb and declared Gerry Rafferty’s Baker Street to be the best song ever written.
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